I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
