haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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