ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
