it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
