yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
