we have officially lost it.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize