its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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