Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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