And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
