her vagine was all disorganized.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
