He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
