I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
