Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
