living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
