I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
