i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
