We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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