butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize