Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
