Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize