4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hotel room ftw
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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