Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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