She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
