I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
