Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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