fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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