I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
