i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
