i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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