Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
