dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize