32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
