i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
