now i know why i became what i already was.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
