Where did you get a picture of my penis
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
