I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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