Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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