Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
