...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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