Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize