I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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