just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
