haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
