I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
