either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
