I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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