There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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