your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
