God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
