I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm always down for nudity.
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