Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
