Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
