Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
