Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
