Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
