Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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