Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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