i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
