we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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