I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Everclear isn't food dammit
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
