I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just high enough for therapy.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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