Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
