i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
