remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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