do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
