Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
