Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
