idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
