pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize