I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
