You're so nebulous sometimes
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
