"it" just moved
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
