i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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