Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
