you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sober January is a disaster.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
