everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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