do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
